Apparently brown babies are receiving their Ivy League acceptances stapled to birth certificates in the delivery rooms nowadays. You sign up for a lifetime of other systemic issues (Racism? Discrimination? No big), but hey, at least you’re going to Harvard.

Suzy’s desire for a “Tiger mom” so that she could be one of, “those kids who by age 14 got their doctorate, cured a disease, or discovered a guilt-free brownie recipe” is equally laughable once you wrap your head around her belief of the stereotype. First of all, I don’t think someone who whines as much as Suzy could’ve handled growing up under my parents, much less the full Amy Chua parenting doctrine. A child of color often has to live under a completely different set of rules than their white counterparts. We work twice as hard to go half as far and still have to deal with a persistent academic achievement gap. The helicopter-parent approach isn’t used to produce 60 Minutes-worthy results; it’s just what’s necessary to survive public school (and life) in America as a child of color.